There is no doubt the tough COVID-19 public health restrictions have meant that families have had to spend more time together. While these public health restrictions have been tough on many families, some families have found it beneficial and it has led to an improvement in parent-child relationships. However, parents were spending more time with their children than in the past before the COVID-19 pandemic as well.
Time spent with our children has had a strikingly great increase over the years a study from 2016 published in the Economist[1] has found. It has found that both parents spend an increased amount of time with their children between 1965 and 2012. Mothers on average spent 54 minutes per day providing care for their children in 1965, which increased to 104 minutes in 2012. Similarly, men although they spent less time providing care for their children compared to mothers, also spent an increasingly amount of time of 59 minutes on average per day providing care in 2012, compared to just 16 minutes in 1965.
It is evident that in the past the time parents spent with their children has dramatically increased over the years. Because of the Covid-19 pandemic, many parents found themselves spending much more time at home during lockdown; many perhaps were working from home and conducting home schooling with their children, which led to a great increase in the amount of time parents spent with their children.
The University of Southampton has confirmed this recently in their research ‘Understanding Society Covid-19 study’[2]. It shows that the Covid-19 crisis has strengthened parent-child relationships and that nearly 20% of parents who reduced their hours at work to look after their children reported their relationships to be better and only 6% said their relationships became worse. Parents who spent more time home schooling their children also reported having a better relationship with their children than those who spent no extra time with their children. However, the study did find more parents with younger children reported on an improvement in their relationship, compared to parents with older children.
Lone parents appeared to suffer more during the Covid-19 lockdown. Lone parents particularly experienced a severe decline in earnings that may have resulted in stressors, which in turn may have affected their relationships with their children.
The Nuffield Foundation[3] has also found that on average parents spent nine hours of the day providing childcare and three hours completing paid work. This is less than half of pre-lockdown levels. Mothers are 47% more likely to multi-task both childcare and paid work, compared to 30% of fathers. Overall, despite mothers doing more childcare, a father’s time spend on childcare has almost doubled during lockdown.
Since the Covid-19 pandemic many parents have been able to spend more quality time with their children. This experience allowed many parents better communicate, reconnect, support, create new memories and feel more secure in relationships with their children. Moving into a post pandemic world it is still vitally important to continue this connection parents have built with their children, and perhaps for many parents who have experienced enhanced stressors throughout the lockdown, to focus on reconnecting with their children.
Below are some ideas to help ensure you and your children maintain and enhance positive relationships in a post pandemic world:
Connecting with nature
Heading outside, perhaps taking a walk in your local park or beach is a great way to connect with your children, as this gives you the perfect opportunity to spark conversation in a peaceful and calming environment away from our busy lives. When in a relaxing environment children may feel more comfortable to open up about their thoughts, feelings or any concerns they may have. This gives parents a great opportunity to be supportive and reassure children.
Practicing self-care
Taking the time out of you week to practice self-care with your children is a great way to form a connection. Perhaps, take an evening a week to relax and unwind together by watching a movie, eating your favorite treats, running a bubble bath for your child or reading a book together.
Cooking and baking
This maybe a fun way to spend some one on one time with your children away from all other distractions. Setting aside some time to cook your children’s favorite dinner with them or heading to the shops and collecting ingredients for some cakes may be an enjoyable way to spend time together. This time together will allow you to both be creative, have some fun, build your child’s self-esteem and enjoy one another’s company, as well as feel a sense of pride and achievement.
Physical activity
Completing exercise can be a great way to spend time with your children alongside benefiting our physical and mental health. Going swimming, going for a walk or a bike ride are great ways to form a common interest and spend regular time together. It allows you and your children to de-stress together, motivate one another and spend some quality time together. Being physically active can allow you to solely focus on bonding with your children as it eliminates factors outside world such as social media, work and school life.
Overall, there is no ‘prescriptive’ amount of time that a parent needs to spend with their children each day. We understand that parents are juggling many other responsibilities and should therefore not feel guilty if they have not spent a certain amount of time with their child or young person. Rather what we would encourage is to consider the time you do have and what you do , if at all possible ensure that quality time is invested in finding out about your child’s likes and dislikes, who their friends are and what their current interests are. That enables parents to maintain a healthy interest in their child and means that time together can be spent doing things that you both enjoy.
[1] https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2017/11/27/parents-now-spend-twice-as-much-time-with-their-children-as-50-years-ago
[2] https://www.understandingsociety.ac.uk/2020/07/05/parents-report-stronger-relationships-with-their-children-during-lockdown
[3] https://www.gov.scot/publications/report-covid-19-children-young-people-families-july-2020-evidence-summary/
