The relationship between a parent and a child can be the most significant in a person’s life. Positive parent-child bonds foster autonomy, curiosity, self-esteem, and better decision-making skills. However, during the teenage years this relationship can be tested. As our children enter adolescence they may appear to need us less, however this is not true.
Be authoritative
Every teen pushes the boundaries, this is normal. However, as the adult you should try to respond maturely and calmly. Show them that you love them but be clear what the consequences are when rules are
broken and apply them consistently. Be fair by making sure the discipline is appropriate for the behaviour.
Try to avoid harsh or excessive consequences.
Decision Making
The feeling a teen gets when their
parent genuinely wants their opinion
is priceless. Many parents make the
decisions instead of letting their teens
play a role. Giving your teen a sense of
autonomy to offer their opinions and
be part of making decisions with help
them take ownership of their actions.
Find Independence
When your teen has a strong
relationship with you, they feel
empowered to go out into the
world and take on challenges. Be
a supporter for your teen, pushing
them to build their resilience.
Review Rules
As your teens grow it is important to review your rules and increase their privileges to help promote their independence. Teens need to see that you trust them with more responsibility as they age.
Be trustworthy
As a parent it is important that you
build a foundation of trust with your
teen. Your teen needs to know that
they can rely on you to be there.
When you say you’ll do something, do
it. Keep your word. However, trust also
means respecting your child’s need for
privacy and keeping their confidences
when they do share with you.
Relaxed Conversation
Teens can easily become intimidated with
too much face-to-face communication.
Reduce the pressure by planning some
of your talks ‘side by side’, i.e. during
a car journey. Use this time to get to
know your teen including their interests,
preferences, and hobbies. Share your own
interests with your teen too.
Support line: 0808 8010 722
parentingni.org
