Children refusing to attend school can be incredibly common. However, when looking at “school refusal” it is important to be mindful of your approach. School refusal often comes from a place of anxiety rather than a desire to play truant. So, it is crucial to not view it simply as a child trying to get time off school, especially when their unwillingness to go to school exceeds just wanting the day off every so often and instead becomes a regular occurrence.
This difference becomes clearer when looking at your child’s reaction when told they must go to school, those experiencing ‘school refusal’ will become extremely upset in this situation and display intense emotions and anxiety.
There are also specific physical symptoms to look out for in your child that will help you to identify school refusal. Complaints of chest pains, experiencing trembling, abdominal pain, nausea, and vomiting could all be physical manifestations of the fear a child may feel towards going to school.
Additionally, children that display the characteristics and behaviour of school refusal can often display symptoms of separation anxiety, social anxiety, and depression which could be an underlying cause for their behaviour. Meaning that children who suffer with any of these issues could be more likely to engage in school refusal.
These symptoms to look out for can have knock-on and long-term impacts on your child’s education and mental wellbeing, so looking out for these will help you to ensure your child can be supported and offered help as soon as possible.
If you suspect that your child is showing the signs of refusal it is important to focus on aiming to not delay their return to school, to minimise the impact.
When looking at the process of helping your child to go into school, their comfort and ability to talk about what they are feeling is crucial. There can be lots of different reasons as to why a child may feel anxious about going to school, such as the workload they have and worrying about making friends. Open and comfortable conversations focusing on why they do not want to go will help you to figure out how best to support them and if there are any changes that you can ask the school to assist you with.
There are many steps you can take with your child to make them feel more confident going into school. Going with your child outside of school hours to simply stand by the gates and see the building, may begin to reduce the daunting feeling they have walking into school in the mornings. Also, creating a stress-free morning routine encourages a happier mood and attitude towards waking up and getting ready to go
to school. This can be achieved by helping them to prepare things the night before such as laying their clothes out, discussing the timetable for the next day, and having breakfast together. Not only does an easy morning routine help, but encouraging your child to wind down with you after school will also help to relieve some of the anxiety they might be feeling. This could be spending time baking or watching a comforting film together on the sofa.
It is crucial to express to your child that you understand what they are going through, and you acknowledge that school is difficult. This will help you to build honest communication around their attitude towards schools and help you in your process to getting your child to enjoy going to school.
Sources:
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2003/1015/p155
https://childmind.org/article/when-kids-refuse-to-go-to-school/
